is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
