butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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