p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
