but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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