It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize