the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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