Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
