It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
