Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
