You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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