Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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