Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
