Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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