There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
