There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
