At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
