so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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