There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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