he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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