Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
