This is not my ceiling
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
