I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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