dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
