It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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