Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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