so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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