We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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