I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
