so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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