I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
