i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize