I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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