he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
