we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
