wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
