we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize