those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
