i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
