I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
