Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
