The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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