Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
