from now on my penis is your penis
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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