dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
