Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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