Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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