Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
