am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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