you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
