went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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