i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
