Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
