he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
