physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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