For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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