I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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