Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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