I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
