i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
