God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
