woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
