HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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